It Has Happened…

As of today, I have been a father for 7 days.  

My daughter was born on February 9, 2017. I find myself stuck. Stuck in between trying to shake off this feeling of awe and finding the courage everyday to be what I need to be for my family. As always, I have somewhat come to a conclusion that I choose to share here.

First off, I don’t want to shake this feeling of awe off. No way will I let this go. Every time I look at her I’m consumed ever more by brilliance and a glow that only she can produce. I feel like a child on Christmas morning every time she looks at me. Can’t help but smile.

Secondly, where else am I going to find courage if not in these trying times? I thought to myself, “I wish I could have built the courage and wisdom that I needed for this stage of my life before hand. I wish I could feel capable.” But then someone wise reminded me – no one is ever ready. No amount of preparation or study can give you what you need. My faith lies in that everything I need to guide her correctly is in a book sitting by my bedside right now. A book known to be the “Best Selling Book of all time.”

These new sentiments are really doing a number on me. I have taken the days off of work to be with my wife and New Born and have cherished them so deeply. Aside from the sleep-deprived nights and not knowing what to do half the time, I’m proud of where I am. I do believe that I have a long way to go. But so far that journey is a great one. 

So now I ask for your help!

If you can spare the time, any tips and tricks on Colic, stomach cramps, and sleepless babies will be most appreciated!! Leave a comment as I am willing to try anything in order to understand and help her the best I can.

Cheers gang

When You Don’t Write

When we don’t write, it’s not because we don’t have anything to say. It’s usually because we feel like we don’t have time. This is a dilemma that only “writers” will understand.

When we don’t write, it’s not because we don’t have anything to say.  It’s usually because we feel like we don’t have time.  This is a dilemma that only “writers” will understand.  

When an athlete goes without swinging a baseball bat for long enough, they ache.  Something is missing and they know; soon enough all of those around them start to notice it as well.  It’s this deep desire to express yourself; a wanting to be heard but not a spoiled need for attention. It is a reason that demands an audience to declare a life experience or thought or question or anguish.  That is why as a Writer you feel compelled to write; it is an extension of yourself that you can not easily throw away.  What a shame that so many of us do that very thing.

All we get is 24.  That’s the magic number of hours that we get each day and what you do with those hours is magic.  From the time that you wake, and even through those vivid and colorful dreams, your life is creating memorable moments and life lessons.  Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.  This should be the cadence of our expression – there should be no missed beat.  When we don’t write it is not because life has dulled and grayed, but because we have not published it.  We have kept it to ourselves.  But if we only knew that among the 7 billion plus living individuals on the planet there is a handful that can use your experience from that day.  Only we can not fathom that what happens to us, can save them.

We have identified the elephant in the room – “I don’t have time.”  Now let us brainstorm to find the solution.  That’s the way I like to approach every situation – as an opportunity to seek solution and change.  Those are the key words here.

The first step is to identify that there is a need for a solution.  In other words, we have to face our problem – We feel frustrated because our cadence or rhythm in life leaves us with little time to pursue writing.  Done.  Now we have to embrace the healing serum – change. I understand that change is never easy.  If you ever meet someone that states that change for them, no matter the magnitude, is easy – they are lying to you and to themselves.  I did want to make one thing clear – This thought is not geared toward professionals that are paid to write.  Instead, it has in mind those that write with the grandest of payments in mind – self-actualization.  Maslo’s Hierarchy of Needs has at its mountaintop self-actualization which is ultimately a person’s ability to put other’s needs before their own.  This is what happens when your physiological needs are met.  When you feel safe and that you belong as a person you feel complete.  When your personal perception or self-esteem is healthy you stop looking in the mirror for flaws and start to reach out to others that only see their scars.  So as a writer that is what you are doing.  You are reaching out and I hope that you believe me when I say that someone out there needs you to.

Time management becomes a big part of this but I have come to understand that no professional organizer or life coach can ever make a breakthrough unless passion is rekindled.  Even if it has to be the first thing in your day or if it has to wait until all the lights are out at home, writing should have its place in your day.  If it’s not online – even better.  At least your day is not forgotten and you can go back to it a year later and remember what it taught you.  So do what you will with the minutes in your day and rearrange as you will.  When we don’t write it’s not because we have nothing to write; no material.  It’s because the minute hand and the hour hand made their twice ’round the clock face and we ran out of time.

 

A Gentleman in FALL!

Its the best of the best for the Fall season and it’s a part of your wardrobe that you can only use this type of year. Enjoy the weather outside without compromising the look you want to present.

This weeks post for the FALL COLLABORATION is one that I have been looking forward to!! With the change of weather comes a much needed transformation to your wardrobe.  The sandals and shorts go back in the closet while coats and sweaters come out and you prep footwear for snow and ice.  The temperature permits layers and this allow for a different look.  I’m going to present different options for any situation.  These articles of clothing are going to complete a tighter, clean, and fitted look.  This post would have a bazillion words if it described ALL the styles possible.  Nonetheless, the following is the look I strive for during Fall and Winter.

Jackets or coats are very important as Fall takes a tighter grasp on the air around you.  It gets cold and windy and you will need something to keep you warm without decompressing your look.  For this, I suggest you have at least 3 different types of jackets/coats.  I’ll explain why next:


The heavy coat is essential for when you have to really dress it up.  An elegant dinner or get-together will require that your outfit be more on the business side of the spectrum.  Throwing a sweat shirt with you alma mater will not due in this case (No offense intended).  If you are going to wear a tie or a blazer with a suit, then one of these is a must.  They sell longer trench coats which appear fancier but it is all about preference here.  Explore your options.


A leather jacket is necessary because it establishes that you mean business in a casual way.  If you ever saw those movies where the guy is on a dirt bike and its starting to get “dirty” you’ll understand what I mean.  The leather jacket just means that you are a bad-ass but your overall outfit can be more relaxed.  The styles vary but I prefer a beltline length and a sleek look.  You can wear this with multiples outfits and combinations of shoes or boots and jeans.

The last jacket is something that you can wear in those super casual moments.  This is for those midnight runs to Wal Mart in your sweat pants!  It works well because sometimes you don’t feel like a businessman or a Casanova but just want something to keep you warm but collected.  These are just a few options but again you can use your imagination.


Sweaters are most important while Fall transitions to Winter but even then you can add to your layered look.  With so many styles and cuts, you need to stock up on a few “staple” sweaters or cardigans to beef up your wardrobe.

Make sure you avoid over-sizing which we tend to do.  Avoid clothing that makes you look exaggeratingly square and that are too loud with buttons and flaps.  Extra material makes you look extra big.  Try to stick to a neutral color that you can pair with almost everything.  I prefer a black or a grey but with so many options – go crazy.

Its the best of the best for the Fall season and it’s a part of your wardrobe that you can only use this type of year.  Enjoy the weather outside without compromising the look you want to present.

 

Make sure to check out the rest of the COLLABERS all of their Fall style tips and tricks!!

Jacqueliine Joy- Warning! Warning!  She will make you laugh. She joins me in the “Bloggers that have Kiddo’s” group of the COLLAB.  Check her out.  Jacqueliine’s Blog Site

Varsha- originally from Aruba, she delivers great cooking, fine dining, a rich diverse culture, and different accents!  Totally different timezone, Totally awesome blog! Don’t miss it!! Varsha’s Blog Site

Lee- “The Originator” of the FALL COLLABORATION, she puts together great material on Lifestyle, Beauty, and Health with the purpose of helping everyone out – one at a time!!!  Lee’s Blog Site

Jenna- She promotes self-love and respect!  Check out her blog straight from the Lone-Star State!  Absolutely great material!!  Jenna’s Blog Site

Morgan- She blogs about life,  fitness,  college life and beauty!  She is a Girl vs. World and everything else and boy does she put up a fight.  Check out the great perspective and experiences!! Morgan’s Blog Site

God Rewards Faithfulness

This is because he criticizes her, while she is criticizing them, and all they do is talk about him. But who doesn’t have something to point out? Who amongst us walks on a fine line and is clean?

A lot of the times, no matter where you live or what era you were born into, criticism will always find its way to your ears.  This is because he criticizes her, while she is criticizing them, and all they do is talk about him.  But who doesn’t have something to point out?  Who amongst us walks on a fine line and is clean?  Sparkling white Joe does not exist.  The only one that should and can be commended is Jesus.

Returning to our the first sentence, what do you do when criticism catches your ear?  Not only criticism of others but the worst yet – criticism of yourself.  It can be a stranger on the subway, a friend from college, a co-worker, or even a family member at a reunion.  What happens inside you when your short-comings as a person are voiced; brought to light?

  • It’s not easy to hear.

Its probably one of the hardest things to hear.  When someone says to your face what makes you a “Not so perfect” person.  Adding to injury is the fact that most of the times, these conversations happen in a heated moment.  Your palms get sweaty, your cheeks flush red, your forehead perspires, your voice gets shaky, and your blood boils.  Whether we are angry with each other, or getting fired at work, or stressed on a project and the work group is falling apart, these moments hit us like a bunch of bricks in the face.

  • But we do need to hear it.

Not the popular idea or opinion, yes, I know.  Now, aside from the heated debate scenario, criticism can be subjective.  Just because someone says that you don’t know how to shoot a basketball doesn’t make them an expert.  Make sure you take these comments with a grain of salt.  But what if no one ever told us what we were doing wrong?  What if someone never pointed out a way you can do what you do more efficiently?  If we are honest with ourselves, its hard to see what is least useful in our character.  Its difficult at times to say, “No, Im wrong here.  I need to do this a different way.”  You might even say its a blessing to hear this.  Or are we waiting for a voice to come from heaven to let us know that there is a different way?

But all this is just a small example of a test.  The Bible talks about tests or trials where our person is put through fire.  It is, or course, the very minimal of all the of the tests and trials that we can face but then why does it bother us so much?  Why is it that we allow those words to shake our faith?  This is not to say that we couldn’t use a good slapping around once in a while.  Im talking about spiritually even though I know that you are thinking of that one person that could use a slapping around physically too.  It doesn’t hurt to heed words of wisdom that scrape against our personality like stone on stone.  Do you know what happens to gold after it is dug out of the dirt?  It is put through fire so that it can be shinier, more sparkling, more precious, more valuable, more useful gold!  But why all of the hassle?  Gold is Gold is Gold.  Thats because there is a standard and even though you ignore that standard, it doesn’t mean its not there.  We have to be careful to ignore those words of wisdom and lose an opportunity to improve; to grow.  It would be such a waste if we were always the same son or daughter, dad or mother, or friend.  How many times have you promised to react differently, in a better fashion, the next time you are put in “that” situation?  We should be improving everyday!!!  So why don’t we try?

I wanted to touch on this subject because sooner or later it will happen.  There will come a time where enough eyes are on you and the criticism starts.  You might even already be there.  Not much is needed though.  It could be the person that you sleep next too…every…single…night.  But don’t let that steal the smile from your face because in all of that, God is watching.  He wants to know that you can keep the faith in him regardless of what men can say.  You are a work of his in progress but we have to accept that.  We have to accept that a work in progress is not perfect and occasionally, just once in a while, someones going to put up a mirror.  But you have to find solace in faith, let it Recharge you, go with the flow, keep walking, and show God that you want to be faithful amidst your short-comings.

 

 

 

The Years Go By Like The Waters In Our Lovers Eyes

Its one of the most powerful sentiments and word of wisdom that has ever graced a human ear and blessed the trajectory of a lifetime

Stop.  Click on this song by Needtobreathe.  Wait a few seconds for the music to start playing…..

Now continue reading.

 

Its one of the most powerful sentiments and word of wisdom that has ever graced a human ear and blessed the trajectory of a lifetime:

“You Only Know What You Have, Once You’ve Lost It.”

In order for that wisdom to exist, someone had to go through heart ache.  Someone had to lose.  Someone had to feel foolish.  Eyes had to be open; eyes that were once blind.  Second chances exist and for this we are all grateful.  Nonetheless, they do not exist for all and for some, they have only known eternal short-coming; an inconsolable oust.

So let us learn from those that have come before us and have been kind of enough to lecture our very situation or circumstance.  Hold on to who you have; never let go of what you have and what it could be.  Before you know it, like stones under rushing waters, the years will have past; opportunities will have ceased; hearts will have fluttered for you or become bitter at your blunder.

Just be sure to take a step back every now and then.  Be grateful and appreciate; realize everyday that the love and joy around you is not of your devise, but in spite of it.  This song is by a great band that I will leave you with.  The purpose of including the link is not to name drop or click-bait.  Listen to the song.  The lyrics are included for your consideration.  Take another listen if you fancy, I know it will do some good.

“Why don’t we dance anymore
I’m not okay with that
Why don’t we laugh anymore
I’m not okay with that
The years go by like stones under rushing water
We only know, we only know when it’s gone
Yeah, the years go by like stones under rushing water
We only know, we only know when it’s gone
Why don’t we smile anymore
I’m not okay with that
Why don’t we dance slowly
I’m not okay with that
‘Cause the years go by like stones under rushing water
We only know, we only know when it’s gone
Yeah, the years go by like stones under rushing water
We only know, we only know when it’s gone

Oh the years, go by, like the waters, in our lovers eyes

Oh the years, go by, like the waters, in our lovers eyes”

Needtobreathe

The Featured Image is credited to Jason Friesen.

The Great Feeling of Success!

A true friend identifies the moments in life where these 3 reassurances can be applied. For 99% of us, this is everyday!!

I won’t go too much into detail on what Im excited about, but……!  This post is really just me letting you know that:

  1. You Are Not Alone
  2. Hang In There
  3. Don’t Give Up!

A true friend identifies the moments in life where these 3 reassurances can be applied.  For 99% of us, this is everyday!!  How many times have you thought to yourself, “If only someone could read my mind?  If only someone could tell me what I need to hear to get through this day?”  Well as many times as you have thought that in a single day, I assure you that your closest friend or relative has done the same.  Don’t hesitate to know that you can make a difference in someone’s day by speaking up and reassuring them of the above list.

About a month ago I made a promise to myself that I would be CONSISTENT & PERSEVERE with a few things in life.  Mainly with prayer, reading the Bible, and amongst other things being committed to you – my readers!  I committed myself to writing at least every other day.  At times, I’ve managed to write once a day for almost a week!  But it wasn’t without setting my mind and attitude straight.

Most times in life it feels that everything is a gamble.  You know what you should be doing but you are afraid to commit the energy and time into something that no one can concretely promise you.  I know that its scary and failure is, if not many more things, frustrating.  Im here to tell you that I have seen the promise land!  LOL.  Thats me telling you not to be afraid.  When you see something that you want and you want to commit to it – THEN COMMIT!!  Don’t question the steps or the risks that you have to take.  Remember that everything that is worth fighting for, you have to fight for.

The last month has thrown a lot at my family and keeping the faith has been tough.  Its a refreshing moment when you see the other side and there is a bright sunny day there welcoming you out of the gloom.  At that point you realize that life is still far from perfect and dandy, but success in one area is enough to give you that nudge to continue to push forward.  Its hard to have and to achieve everything that you want in one day.  But one at a time you can have small successes that, one by one, reassure you that you do have what it takes and that CONSISTENCY & PERSEVERANCE pay off.  Before God and the world, they pay off.  By Gholly They Pay Off!!!!

So there it is friends!  Whatever it is that you have on your mind tonight; whatever it is that you are sure is going to keep you up, don’t fear it.  Just be CONSISTENT & PERSEVERE!  Do what you know is good and maintain your integrity in whatever venture you have set forth on.  That is the way to blessing and grace.

Wisdom

Finding Wisdom….

 

 

“Many would come to wisdom if they did not think themselves already there.

-Bacon

 

Google please, Keep saving me

Google Thanks
Your my friend
You define my words
Your maps never end

When I feel dumb
That’s where you come in
No matter the question I have 
Google you always lend a hand

I try to be so smart, but you save me in my brain fart,
I can’t do this alone, Thanks for always being in my phone

I try to act so tough, but you help me to know my stuff,
Google Please, Keep saving me.

The nerds don’t think
That they need you
What they don’t know
Is Obama uses you too.

In the nicest way
Your a total tool
You were the rock I stood on, in high school and college to not fail and drool

I try to act so smart, but you save me in my brain fart,
I can’t do this alone, Thanks for always being in my phone

I try to act so tough, but you help me to know my stuff,
Google Please, Keep saving me.

~JC

An Ode to Google

Repetition and Reputation 

There can not be an epiphany without suffering. Suffering can be anything difficult in life; from an injury to the loss of a loved one. When these things happen, they are a jolt to our otherwise mundane style of life. Mundane in the sense of routine, repetitive, mechanic, robotic. It’s that stagnant mode that we get into where it’s hard to get our attention. Where our money and success often over shadow the realities of this world. Those things that we say, “It will never happen to me.”  

So at this point of the storm you realize that you are, in fact, in a storm. The wind howls, the icy rain clashes against your skin, the thunder crashes; it’s a head ache and it’s all designed to startle you. It’s purpose is to test you and challenge you. You are supposed to learn something.  

You can’t learn everything to know in one sit down though. This is why High School and College courses are a repetition of the same material. This is how we learn; this is the only way that humans can adapt to new information. This is how we are molded.

So where is there room to complain? The process is for us. It’s designed to change your course of actions or perspective on life. It’s called “Perspective on life”, not perspective “of” life. That’s because when you acquire perspective, and especially the right one, you end up ontop of any situation in life. We were made to reign over and be on top of the world, not for the world to be on top of us.  

It’s all there to change your reputation. The reputation that you have before God, or the universe, of the decisions that you make and the paths that you take. Life is just a bunch of forks in the road. Your reputation is built on whether you go right or left. The tough stuff confronts us to wise-us-up. To help us grow. To show us what we can’t learn when we are stuck in robot mode. The point is to get through the scuffle with a grateful heart. This will turn on your spirits windshield wipers; get rid of all the grime built up that doesn’t let you see. It’s in this clarity that you can see what you need to learn. This way, when the sky clears up and the winds dies down, you can put into practice what you have learned…..

JC ~ Thoughts in an ER room

People I Want to be

I then thought to myself, “Your about to be a dad. Your wife is 4 months pregnant and instead of traveling so much you will be at home, with the kiddo, teaching what it is to be a good person.”

I got the idea for this post from Rosie at Hookup Culture, a blogger that I really enjoy reading and following.  She recently posted a list of places that she would like to visit. A sort of bucket list on places she wants to raise her flag on.  I loved the idea of striving to be somewhere in the not so distant future and marking that off of a list.

I then thought to myself, “Your about to be a dad.  Your wife is 4 months pregnant and instead of traveling so much you will be at home, with the kiddo, teaching what it is to be a good person.”  That question got me to scratching my head on who I was and what traits I could check off of a list.  So I thought I would write a list of the traits that I hope to possess one day soon.  Not traits that I exhibit once in a blue moon, but things I can honestly say I have a hold on.  Perfection not included but that being the inspiration.

Now on my list, I would be going in the opposite direction of number 1 if I begun to check things off like Ms. Rosie did on her list of places she has already visited.  I think the purposes of this list, on a personal level, would be that I want to always have these things or traits in arms reach of me.  Be it yesterday or last week, If I can see myself acting in that way, then maybe a pat on the back is warranted.  But if I don’t remember the last person I was compassionate towards then it’s rubbing off and I have to make a conscious effort to get that back.  And so do you.
Good luck everyone.

  1. Humble
  2. Honest
  3. Loving
  4. Understanding
  5. Fair
  6. Merciful
  7. Brave
  8. Trust Worthy
  9. Conscious
  10. Passionate
  11. Confident
  12. Supportive
  13. Compassionate
  14. Focused
  15. Genuine/Transparent